Top Ten List: Said to Loaves & Fishes' Wash House manager, Mark, after assignment of a shower stall

Not an actual homeless person.

10. It's OK with me that the water tastes like wine, but must the soap bars smell like Oscar's feet?

9.   Are you still accepting Mid-Town Car Wash half-off coupons?

8.   Mmm. This shower stall still has that "new water" smell!

7.   Could you come in the stall with me, Mark? It's been so long, I've forgotten how to operate the soapbar.

6.   It would be a sure-fire customer draw, Mark! Fresh-water sea nymphs!

5.   It would be a sure-fire customer draw, Mark! Shower Snacks^TM made from hardened gummy bears.

4.   Mark! Have you been mixing the shampoo left-overs again!? My hair is falling out. And it HURTS.  Oh, Mark!!

3.   Ooop. There's something wrong with this drain! It isn't accepting the photon torpedoes that came out of my Bombay door.

2.   I need the shower curtain from #6 for a tarp tonight, Mark. Can I trade you for a pair of my extra-large Scotch-Guarded boxer shorts?

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING SAID TO LOAVES & FISHES WASH HOUSE MANAGER MARK AFTER ASSIGNMENT OF A SHOWER STALL IS …

1.   My shower yesterday only took three minutes, so I'm staying in here for seventeen minutes, this morning, Mark. I'm not asking you; I'm telling you. DO THE MATH!

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